Should You Stay Or Should You Go?

       Many people have asked themselves, "Should I stay or should I go?" Obviously for one to ask themself this question, there has to be problems. But are they serious enough to end the relationship over? Are they being overreacted to? There are a lot of factors here. Some people expect relationships to be all flowers and romance and are ready to throw in the towel when a problem arises while others have a hard time standing up for themselves.
       Choosing whether to end a relationship or not is a difficult decision. Many people trying to make this decision often ask themselves the what-if questions.
       "What if I end it and regret it later?" "What if I am just over reacting to stuff?" "What if this is the best I can do?"
       Fear of regretting ending the relationship later is a poor reason to stay in a relationship. I stayed in a horrible, horrible relationship partly for fear I would regret my decision later. Turns out, I regretted the decision to stay in the relationship and would much rather question myself for ending a relationship, than wasting years in it and regretting all the time wasted in a bad relationship.
       If you are not sure if you are overreacting to a situation(s), there are things you can do. For one, give it time. As soon as something happens, we may be infuriated at it. Then a month later, we are embarrassed that we made such a big deal over it and a year later, we can't even remember it. However if a lot of time passes and you still feel the same way (or worse) then you know you are not overreacting.
       Another thing you can do is to write down what is bothering you. Sometimes things will sound horrible in our mind, but written down, it looks silly.        You could also ask various friends and relatives you trust their opinion, but this may or may not be of help, since people's opinions vary and they are not in your situation. Be sure they do not try to force their opinions on you. It can really help to let things off of your chest and to get moral support. Just don't let them make any decisions for you.
       Yet another thing you can do is to try and change your perspective. Look at things in different views. Try to look at things in your partners view. Would you feel different. Then pretend it is your friend who is having the problems and asking you for advice. What would you say? Next look at things from 5 years in the future.
       Once the relationship deteriorates to a certain point, it is time to leave, no matter how painful it is. Here are some instances where it is best to leave rather than continue suffering.

       If you feel there is still hope and want to work things out, the best things to do are:

       Only you can decide if you should leave or not. You can always listen to advice, but you should always be the one making the decision. It's your life after all. It's a difficult decision, so don't feel rushed in making any decisions. It may take time, but eventually you will know the right decision to make.

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This page has all sorts of advice for anyone going through a divorce or contemplating divorce.
Should you stay or go?                                When You're Pissed Off
Tips to feel better.
When to seek help.


Tips To Feel Better

It's not uncommon to suffer from low self esteem while going through a divorce. You experience a lot of emotions and having your dream of being happily married forever come to an end can be horribly painful.

It's not uncommon to feel like a failure during a divorce. Remember just because your marriage failed doesn't mean you are a failure.

It's important during this painful experience to do things to make yourself feel better and here are some tips to feel better:
When to Seek Help

Different people handle divorce different. While some are relieved to be divorced, others go into a deep, severe depression. They look constantly through old picture albums of happier times and wonder why things can't be like they were. They look at the wedding photos and remember how happy they felt on that day and then burst into tears knowing how things turned out.

Some people cry all the time and find it hard to function. They can't stop thinking about their marriage, the good times, the bad times, and the divorce. They keep asking, "Why?" Why did it have to end? What went wrong? Why can't we be happy and in love like we are supposed to be?

It's natural to feel depressed when your marriage ends, but if it gets severe and debilitating, help is necessary. Some people become inconsolable and distraught when their marriage ends.

Signs of severe depression are: severe crying, unable to control tears even in the grocery store or car, isolation, withdrawal, sleeping too much, a lot of weight gain or loss, eating too much or too little, lack of interest in things once enjoyable, irritability, thoughts of suicide, lethargy, difficulty in doing everyday things, difficulty in working or quitting work.

If you experience these symptoms you need to talk to a professional. Counseling and medication may be needed to help you cope with severe depression.

 
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When You're Pissed Off
Maybe you are feeling angry and resentful. All those wasted years. All your dreams crushed. Perhaps you were wronged or treated like dirt. You don't like feeling so angry and resentful, but you can't help it.

Don't be afraid to feel what you feel. You don't want anger to take over your life though. There are things to do to relieve your anger:

1.Punch a punching bag, preferably with your ex's face on it.
2.Sign up for a kickboxing class.
3.Smash a bunch of (cheap) dishes.
4.Go to a batting cage and when the baseballs are coming at you, think of how badly were wronged and hit away.
5.Throw darts at dartboard, preferably with your ex's picture on it.